Treasure

How many exceptional people do you have to accumulate as "friends" to consider yourself exceptional? I am weary of this trend that I see around me. People have noticed it as a social networking phenomena, but I see it in our literal world, as well.

The practice seems to result in a great many people becoming spread too thinly to enjoy any of these "exceptional friends" on a satisfying level. Is this you? And how do you choose your inner circle? By your friends' abilities to keep up with all things topical in the lightning round of the zeitgeist game? By the number of exceptional (interesting... intelligent... accomplished... evolved) people they bring to your world?

Perhaps the quiet friend who has the inclination, who "shows up" for you, and who makes the time to listen to your heart is the truly valuable one. Look around. You certainly have one or two of these. Do you see them for the boon they truly are?

Collecting friends like costume jewelry so that you have the right ones to match your mood, or a particular social function, or to validate how you wish to present yourself, will leave you no resources to maintain the truly priceless gems that you already have - the few that will never tarnish. So the choice belongs to each of us; quantity or quality?

It seems

in this moment that it will be an accomplishment if I die of natural causes.

Want

I was told that you didn't want me.  Your own actions have only verified this to me.  And I begin with you, because we apparently spent my earliest hours on this plane in each other's company.  I don't know if I felt it in those first few days when you held me, or perhaps even sooner when I was still in Mother's womb.  But from the outset, my earliest knowing tells me that you did not prepare the way for me.  You did not make the world a welcoming place for me.

Furthermore, there were expectations of tiny little me from the moment I was a definitive being, more than a thought between two people.  Draft baby, flower child - I wasn't too old before I figured out these things.  It also seemed to me growing up, and now, that you didn't really work your schedule around me, but "tried to work me in."  Often times I didn't see you for weeks, and when I did, you told me that you weren't allowed to see me.  Right.  And you expected me to honor you and respect you.  I tried that.  It was painful.

And now, as I look around, I still cannot truly ascertain where I am wanted.  Many people try to work me in.  But a rare few make it a point to make me a priority.  If not you, of course not others.  Right? Right.

Fuck you.